Be Still

The very best and utmost of attainment in this life is to remain still and let God act and speak in thee. - Meister Eckhardt

I lost my connection to God for a few days. Not entirely, mind you. Perhaps I have made progress in incorporating God into my daily life, because I did talk to Him several times. I neglected to start the day with Him, though; I woke up each day and was off to the races without my morning prayers and meditation. Both Friday and Saturday were good, busy days. Sunday it caught up to me. I felt in a funk, heart burdened, and could not identify the problem. A despicable tendency in me, I tried to pin it on things outside myself. Need I point you to the last post, on acceptance? Specifically the last sentence in the quote at the top? Laughing at myself now, which is good - I will never be perfect, will never achieve my ideals, but I will keep my ideals just the same. All the pointing outward was in my head anyway; I didn't pick any fights, that I can recall. It's progress. I wonder now how much I could have achieved today if I had started my day right and been light, instead of weighted down. That is an area in which I still have much progress to make: how to keep moving when my heart hurts, instead of dragging myself around like I swallowed Titanic's anchor.

Tonight I went through my books (two of them) and caught up on the daily meditations I had missed. This is not a good way to learn; I have to take it one mediation entry per book, per day, to get enough spirituality and growth out of them. I saw clearly what I had missed, not in words on a page but in meaning that I could have carried through the days in question. Yipes. As it turns out, the problem - the pain - was of my own making. Of course it was. Tomorrow I will get back on track. I hope that this will remind me to be more faithful to my meditation and prayer time, every day, in the days to come.